Monday, July 25, 2011


People keep telling me to let it go but there are things other people seem to do just to see if they can drive you crazy. You know those tiny things that make you want to pull out your hair or jump off a particularly steep cliff. So someone figured i should start a list so that it can act as a deterrent to some of the perpetrators of these heinous crimes.

Remember this is my own list so you're allowed to disagree. If you think there are any hints of hypocrisy then you probably need to start writing your own. If you see hints of yourself then you're going over that cliff before me.

1. Politicians. Enough said.
2. Fake accents. This goes out to the guy who thinks his kao accent is hidden by his twang.
3. Girls who think that the world revolves around their looks. Seriously there has to be something more to you than that. Yes you look good but at some point i will get bored staring at you so you'd better have other tricks in that bag.

4. People who are always complaining about their relationships. It's either you or him and no one is putting a gun to your head. Put up or shut up.
5. Fake modesty. If a compliment was given just take it and stop pretending you don't understand why i said it.
6. Compulsive potty mouths. I don't understand when it became cool to punctuate every single sentence with a swear word. If your vocabulary is that limited then try reading English Aid.
7. 'Gangstas'. It's in quotes because these guys need loads of prayer. Those dudes who watch movies and soak up every single detail then try to relive them by telling everyone how they are from the hood. I'm not your homey or your man and your jeans are falling. I don't need to see that.
8. Egomaniacs. No I wasn't talking about you or to you. I wasn't even thinking about you. No. Seriously. I wasn't.
9. Cliques. We aren't in high school any more. It's not a cafeteria scene in a teenage movie either with the geeks, jocks, goths and prom queens sitting in different sides. Grow up and stop stereotyping people. Life's so much bigger than that.
9. Project Fame. I chose this title since most of the people on that show gave talent a bad name. If i'm wincing when you sing then please get the idea and STOP. It's about time we stopped giving you false hope so it's partly our fault.
10. Couch fries. For those of you don't know these are people who watch so much telly that they believe anything on it. So i'm sorry if you won't find a guy like Brad Pitt or your girl won't have anything on Charlize Theron. Oh yeah this is specifically to those girls who delude themselves with Spanish soaps. I'm not Alejandro or Miguel and if you want me to be then you gotta be as cute as his girl on the show. Just switch of the telly and work with what you've got.
12. Strange strangers. You know that guy who will sit next to you on the mat and completely share his whole life story? I don't know you. And going by your story i'd really love to keep it that way.
13. Advisors. This is in reference to those people who always have an opinion to give. Obviously this has happened to them before. 'You know what i'd do?' is a common question from them. Well the answer is that when i need your advice i'll ask for it. If i don't it's probably because i don't need it.
15. People who can't take a hint. Yeah i said hi to you once. Doesn't mean we're bosom buddies. I'm yawning means you're boring. Can't spell everything out for you.
16. Professional couples. Now don't take this the wrong way. I'm just talking about those people who seem to have no life past their relationships. Yeah the types who are always extolling the virtues of this boyfriend or that girlfriend. We all fall in love but we're not in a three way relationship.
17. Shallowness. People naturally assume this means girls but guys are included. I'm not saying you should know everything about stuff but it would be great if you expanded your horizons. Once in a while try watching the news or reading the paper. I'm not a nerd coz i know who the head of the UN is.
18. Flossers. Not people who are careful about their dental hygeine but rather idiots who never tire of reminding people of how much they have. Ok sure your mum has more cars than mine. What next? Yours is bigger than mine? Dude we're not in the sandbox. Get over it.
19. Idiots. If i need to explain this then it's you i'm talking about. Maybe i should add Alfred Mutua as a friend then it'll get to its intended audience.
Well i could go on for a while but i have other things to do. Just thought i should put it out there. If i missed anything then you can add to the list. If you've got nothing good to say then say it on your wall.

1 comment:

  1. any effing idea where i can get a effing English Aid?