So we have no idea why the students went on the rampage. We have even talked to psychologists, psychiatrists and other people who sigh but they couldn't give any headway on this. They seemed to concur that evolution had completely eliminated what has come to be known as the 'UON' doctrine. This stipulates that throwing rocks, having running battles with the cops ('running battles' was coined specifically for those kids) and basically being louts grants you an audience with whoever you want.
It is an indictment of the Kenya education system where you have to sit and wonder how some of these kids made it past nursery school let alone how they got into university. While the Arab Spring was being orchestrated by their age mates, UON are busy trying to figure out who would feature on Kenya's fictional shot putt team in the Olympics next year.
10) They felt left out by the surge in Somalia. They figured the government should have sent them there to help launch grenades and other projectiles at the Al Shabaab.
9) They will get pissed off when people stop referring to the uni as UON or even Patch Uni and it's officially named after Mike Sonko due to the similarity in their behaviour.
8) Students will get pissed off that the 'c' in miscellaneous is silent. They will go on the rampage demanding that some of these spellings should be compelled to make sense.
7) Boredom. A boring lecture will set off craziness. But this will be the best strike because the kids will be too bored to throw rocks. So they will just send angry tweets and facebook updates.
5) They will find out that Hitler and that Soko Ugali guy both went UON. Obviously the Hitler angle will piss them off but the Soko Ugali dude will just push them off the edge.
4) Aliens shall threaten to destroy the earth after they imply that there is no 'intelligent life' on earth after their first contact will be with a UON student. It will take them a while to understand this though.
3) They will be pissed off because the 'Party Don't Stop'. They will take out their anger on clubs after days of non-stop parties and their first victims will be Camp Mulla.
2) Some idiotic media house will break a story about an impending demolition of UON due to the fact that their land belongs to Kenya Airports Authority, Kenya Railways and Kenya Ports Authority. Basically everyone will have a title deed except UON.
1) They will read this post and not understand most of it. I ask you all to write a great eulogy in that case.