Wednesday, November 30, 2011


Robinson Githae is a man of many talents. Chief among them is the fact that he is head of a ministry which is also being run by the mayor of Nairobi. Basically, he is the mayor minus the chair throwing since Minister of Nairobi Metropolitan just allows him to dream about what the city will be like if it wasn't Nairobi. I love those artist renditions of the city with trains going through buildings and dogs barking upside down and parks in fictitious shades of green.

But I totally digress. I wouldn't bring up Githae if I didn't have something bigger to talk about. Last week he was quoted (he is never misquoted) as saying Uhuru Kenyatta's wealth was greatly exaggerated by Forbes list of Africa's Top 40 Richest Africans. Check that list here. Anyway Mayor Githae implied that Uhuru's political enemies are out to get making him sound rich. *clears throat*.

Before I even go into that lets look at the other presidential race. Herman Cain is almost pulling out (hehe) of the race because of the many women accusing him of sexual harassment dating back decades. Newt Gingrich was being targeted because he divorced his wife while she was recovering from cancer. Rick Perry got into trouble over his inability to function as a human being with a brain.

But in Kenya, apparently if you are rumored to be rich then people are out to get you. So it's cool to be assumed poor. Shhh keep it on the down low or else Sinai residents will all run for elective office. It's about being seen as a man of the people. Githae goes on to say that UK owns a shamba and a few cows and goats while the political enemies in Forbes say that he is worth an estimated $500 million. But the best is left for last when he says that if UK was actually that rich then it would be awesome and we should elect him since he won't steal money. The hell?

He wins both sides of the argument here. Uhuru is a poor guy so vote for him because he is just like you and me. Oh and if he happens to be ridiculously rich then vote for him because he won't steal your money. He has way more than enough.

There is absolutely nothing interesting about this presidential race. It's the same stuff every single day. Raila is the root of all evil. Uhuru and Ruto are the young persecuted ones. Martha is the crazy lady who scares parliament and Tuju is the target at a perpetual dodge ball game. The only person keeping stuff interesting is Kalonzo who decided to rename ODM-K. Now it's the Wiper Democratic Party. What more is there to say after that?

It is with all this in mind that I am starting a petition as a presidential candidate to start better scandals in the race for the house on the hill. No more corruption scandals. Those are boring.Next person caught with his wife selling her wares at Sabina Joy wins the race. Gentlemen start your engines. Martha you can make a call to a certain priest.I want to hear someone was caught shaving his dog in his sleep. Or is racist against the French. Something. Anything. Just as long as you wake us up from this yawnfest.At this rate i might just vote for Kalonzo. Yes. That was a threat.

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