DANCE WITH MY FATHER

I AM YOUR FATHER,

No that's not Darth Vader surprising Luke in Star Wars. For the record I don't understand that movie. How was Darth Vader Luke's father when Luke was also Darth Vader. And what was up with Luke making out with Princess Leia- HIS SISTER! *Hyperventilating* But then we just lost the plot. These words were said to me a few years ago.Caught playing truant in my preteen years, my father had busted me again. Nothing ever seemed to escape his attention. Invariably he'd catch me doing something I knew I wasn't supposed to in my forays into the world as a child. More often than not these encounters would end with me crying after a well-deserved(I didn't think so back then) spanking.

So used was I to this setting that I was momentarily taken aback by this chain of events. I have no idea what mischief I'd gotten into but I'm sure it was bad. I wasn't necessarily a bad kid but my dad had us reigned in pretty well. In fact the worst thing I remember doing was going for a dip in the local river after particularly heavy deluges. My siblings and I would get back home covered in mud and the drill would start. You had to go and find the stick with which he would administer your punishment. Thus you had your fate in your own hands.


There was an order to the chaos that was the caning. You commit a crime. You get ready for the time. It was how things happened.So this new arrangement baffled me. In so many ways this was more scary since the unfamiliar situation peaked my anxiety. My heart was racing and I was sweating bullets. Waiting. Wondering. Willing it to be over.

And that's where we were. I was seated across from him waiting for a spanking and here he was declaring what I thought was one of the most stupid things I'd ever heard. I wanted to scream out 'Duh' and shrug but the threat of a spanking still loomed large. It was a single sentence. Voicing what I thought was the obvious. And he was done. And the news went on.

Growing up messes with us. It's a weird point where we notice our parents aren't the heroes you've made them out to be. Where you notice dad drinks a bit too much or mum stays out a bit too late. And then it dawns on you. They are human. Years later I sat and contemplated that single thought. This is the one thing that stuck in my mind about this person who had a huge influence on my life.

He wasn't perfect. Not even close but like he said he was my father. No I don't hear his voice in the wind or wake up to dreams about him. I see him in annoying little habits in me that make me smile. (Speaking of which if anyone knows where I can find a lingala CD by a guy called Nyiboma please let me know). He is me. My dad bid the living farewell years ago but still those words ring true.

I am your father.