OPERATION LINDA KICHEKO

Twitter is apparently where it’s at. This is where the in crowd gets together and discusses matters of national importance like what is happening at the Art Caffe and whether or not Kenyans living in Uganda can be defined as diaspora folk. So yeah, pretty important stuff. A defining feature of this whole experience is the tweef i.e. the twitter beef for those unfamiliar with twitter lingo among the twitterati. Wow. I feel so sad for writing that whole sentence. 

So one of the most interesting tweefs this year has been between our armed forces (KDF) and the AlShabaab where we watched the war on terror across to the cyberspace. Here is a look at how it unfolded. None of the words have been changed. This is EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED. Word for word.

Al Shabaab just joined twitter.

Al Shabaab is now following KDF.

Al Shabaab: @KDF I hear you’ve been talking trash.Now say it to my face…err avi.

KDF: @AlShabaab We will smoke you out of your caves to win this war.#OperationLindaNchi

AlShabaab: @KDF What’s wrong with you?#TeamFollowBack

KDF is now following AlShabaab.

 KDF: @Alshabaab now we are following you on two fronts.#Coincidence

Alshabaab: Seriously dude.What did we ever do to you? @Yenyewe what’s the bile?

Yenyewe: @AlShabaab what are you on about?Don’t know you. @KDF I don’t know them.

KDF: @Yenyewe could you please DM your details. #NoNeedToWorry

AlShabaab: @Yenyewe Oh so that’s how it is? @KDF Where are you?We need to finish this.

KDF: @AlShabaab We have you surrounded in Liboi.Our planes will start bombing soon.

AlShabaab: @KDF What time exactly? Just so we know when to get ready.#Confirmation

KDF: @AlShabaab Maybe noon or 1 pm.Our planes were in the shop getting fixed.#FrustratedTweet

AlShabaab: @KDF Sawa.Thanks for that.Infidel! @Yenyewe Wanna meet in Easich?Wanna get some shopping done.

KDF: @AlShabaab Why do you always have to be an ass?@Yenyewe still waiting on that DM.

Yenyewe: @KDF Please leave me out of this.@Alshabaab I’m busy kidogo.Meeting @LarryMadowo 4 name calling.

AlShabaab: @Yenyewe Name calling? #WTF

Yenyewe: @AlShabaab It’s a thing.We meet & pronounce our names over and over.

AlShabaab: @Yenyewe Sounds kinda gay but it’s cool if you’d rather hang with @LarryMadowo.

KDF: The bombing has just started in Liboi.This is kinda awesome.Tweeting from a plane.#OperationFun

AlShabaab: @KDF You missed. A bit more to the left.That was my neighbour’s cave.Is all ur aiming this messed up?

KDF: @AlShabaab Ask your wife? #InyourFace

Yenyewe: LMAO RT @KDF @AlShabaab Ask your wife? #InyourFace

AlShabaab: @KDF Oh no you didn’t! @Kenyapower WTF?How do u do that in the middle of a tweef?

Yenyewe: @AlShabaab Hata kwenyu lights zimelost? @Kenyapower is effed up.

KDF: @AlShabaab Wanna do this later?I know how annoying tweefing in the dark can be.Kwanza with an #Ideos. #Bazinga

Baibyeve: I am HIV+ and I slept with @AlShabaab @KDF @Yenyewe & @LarryMadowo so they should get themselves checked.

Yenyewe: WTF? @Alshabaab Do you know who @baibyeve is?

AlShabaab:@Yenyewe It’s not that chic from #mkz. You did @baibyeve too?

Baibyeve: You all did. @KDF & @AlShabaab are regulars.They both call me #The Warzone.

KDF: Well either way you look at it, Kenya has won the war. @AlShabaab we’re done.

AlShabaab: Well this is kinda pointless without @KDF. I’m out.

The user @KDF has deactivated his/her account.

The user @AlShabaab has deactivated his/her account.

Yenyewe: @Baibyeve you wanna refresh my memory about what happened?

Baibyeve: @Yenyewe Sawa lets meet at Galitos at four. Then we can head back to your place.

Yenyewe: @Baibyeve Sounds like a plan. #BowChikkaWowWow