|Actual reenactment of me sitting in the office working!|
For real. What's up with that? Yay! It's the first of January! Wow this feels like de javu. I wonder when this happened again. Last freaking year. Same thing happened. This is exactly how my countdown went. It's an actual reenactment. So step back in case you are scared of blood.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six (Really hope the Mayans were right) five, four, three, two, one. Then I closed by eyes tight and started waiting for that tsunami from the movie 2012. Nothing. Then I noticed my watch was ten minutes fast. So while I was safely on the other side, I still had to wait for the stragglers to catch up. Trust Kenyans to be late for a year. The clock strikes midnight (again) and everyone starts going crazy. Kissing here. Hugging there. Groping the wrong butt. (Dude I saw you touch me) And then I'm like congratulations. It's January. You're all screwed!
So here I am. Sitting in the office. January already seems like it's been six months long. No one is smiling. Our wallets rule our moods. And from this I'm finding ways to survive January. This started with lunch where we had to forego our usual joint and instead just imagined how full stomachs feel. These aren't resolutions, mind you. They are the only ways I can think of that can guarantee me the chance to see February.
Firstly, avoid my landlord. I'm thinking maybe I can try get the government to declare my place a biological hazard. They are well on their way to doing this because of the way my rubbish bin has been filling up recently. It's been so filthy that I found a hobo getting himself comfortable. In addition to this, public transport might become a leisure. Because Thika Road is a veritable parking lot, I won't lose out on much in the way of motion and I will also be getting exercise. That's like fifteen birds with one coin.
|I couldn't help myself!|
Speaking of Valentine's Day, there will be no love this month. No dating or even acknowledging that girls exist. Every single time that happens, money escapes from my pocket. It's like they are the pied piper minus the rats and children. So no falling in love or even crushes.I'm too broke to give a damn. That is unless I can find a girl who doesn't care about being fed or entertained during dates. Communication will be limited to smoke signals and reverse calls (which are being offered by Yu Mobile...It's like they don't care about money anymore). Things are thick. Lastly, I'm gonna keep the madness to a minimum. I hear it costs a whole lot to be admitted into a mental institution. But then again I'm a regular.
Oh and if you are a guard at the Village Market, this may be the appropriate time to quit your job. Guys are pissed it's January.