That said though the security guards over the last couple of months have painted a rather interesting image of what terrorism is like.If you have no idea what I am talking about then I will ask you to recall your last pat down or car check as you were entering a public building. Remembered? Ok. If you have watched any of those detective or crime shows you will know that they come up with a psychological and physical profile of the unsub (suspect to you lesser mortals). From the actions of the Kenyan security guard we are able to draw a fairly conclusive image of what the Kenyan terrorist looks and acts like. Join me as we descend into this murky world.
1) The Kenyan terrorist only drives crappy cars. He is never seen in flashy cars because that will obviously draw way too much attention to himself. That's why when the Range Rover drives up to the security guards they salute and wave him through while the guy in the old Peugeot has his jalopy checked from hood to exhaust. You can never be too careful with these people.
3) He clearly labels his explosive devices. So that briefcase in the trunk of the car isn't really a bomb unless it is labelled with clear, bold, red letters. There is a rule about even the font to be used for such stuff and the brotherhood is totally specific about the message. THIS IS A BOMB. MAMBO MBAYA. That's why the security guys often finish that undercarriage check so quickly. It's just one of those messages that jumps out at you with a single look.
4) The terrorist is a man. Sorry women. Another way in which you have to fight for your rights. Maybe you will get special seats for this one too entrenched into the constitution. But yeah the Kenyan terrorist is a man. That explains why women are waved through the security checks despite those huge bags. Some of those bags are known to carry everything from boots to a bedside lamp but the one thing you will never find in there is an explosive device.
|What? It Could Happen|
So look out for these people. It might even be you. So next time you enter that public building and you have to sign in let the guards know that they should probably take you in. When you leave that name and phone number in the visitors' manifest then be sure to know that your honesty will just get you nabbed. And pretty soon you will be signing in at Kamiti. Even with terrorism we strive to be different. Or so the security apparatus will have us believe.